It doesn't always work out.

You are going to find that not every couple you meet is going to be a couple you want to fuck. One of the ways we meet potential new couples online is thru adult swinger sites. You can read profiles and see pics and then decide if you might want to meet.
We recently corresponded with a couple for the better part of six weeks before we were able to coordinate schedules and get together for drinks. They weren't married, but were in a committed relationship and had been for over 18 months.
We finally get together and the evening seems like it is going great. At the end of the evening - they just bow out and we never hear from them again. So sometime it takes awhile to find couples that you click with.

Why do you swing?

One of the things I'm curious about is why couples choose to swing. Why do you and what keeps you in the lifestyle?

Any thoughts on single men and swinging?

The question below was posted in the comments section of the first post on the site. I am publishing it so that others can weigh in on the subject:

May 12th, 2005
Anonymous said...

great blog - how do single men get involved in legit swinger activities? any advice will be helpful. it seems that most swinger couples are NOT looking for men.
2:17 AM

From Sugar and Sassie:
I believe there are couples out there who will take a single guy into their swing universe. The concern that most of these couples have is that as a single guy - you are in a dating situation where you are exposed to unknown diseases and may bring them into the couples universe. If you are in a monogamous relationship and your partner doesn't want to swing, then it's another set of issues. It may take longer to find a couple that wants to swing with a single male - but they are out there.

What about condoms and swinging?

The debate over condoms is no different in the swinging world than in the vanilla sex world. Guys don't like them - plain and simple. They will use them - if its that or nothing, but they don't like it.
As far as swinging with or without condoms goes, the issue is something each couple has to resolve and both of them have to be comfortable with it. If anything about the situation makes you uncomfortable, then you are not going to have a good time.
Condoms are worn out of fear and that's where they get the bad rap. Fear of pregnancy, fear of disease. I've never heard a guy say he wanted to wear a condom because he liked the way it felt. I'm told it's desensitizing. Of course, I wouldn't know, I don't have a cock.
I do know that I'm allergic to latex and standard condoms won't work for me. You want to take the fun out of screwing, have an allergic reaction to latex. Your pussy feels like it is on fire and itches.
If you carefully control the partners you swing with and keep that universe disease free, then I don't believe condoms are a necessity to prevent disease. Now as far as pregnancy is concerned, of course they are required. Once again, it's a decision that should be made as a couple and you both need to be comfortable with it.
What are your thoughts on swinging and condoms? Do you or don't you?

The First Time ..........

To say I was nervous the first time we were with another couple, is an understatement. I felt like a virgin on prom night who new she was going to lose her virginity. We made arrangments with "Ted" and "Diane" to meet in our room after dinner. This was their their first time, so the only experienced person in the room was my husband. Taking his lead, we showered and waited for them to get to the room, - we elected to just wait naked. We all knew what we were there for.
After they got there, we all set the ground rules for the evening. "Diane" wasn't sure she wanted a full swap situation and was going to decide that as she went. Then the condom issue was decided. Condoms are always a source of discussion in the swing universe. The reasons to use them are obvious, but some guys just hate them and it ruins it for them. What you have to do, is figure out what your comfortable with. If you are going to swing without condoms, then my recommendation is you only swing with couples who only swing with other monogamous couples. This creates a kind of group monogamy, if no one ever goes outside the circle to a single male - who may be exposed to more.
I'm not going to blow smoke here. The first time was awkard. I am very much a voyeur, so watching my husand with another woman was weird to say the least. It wasn't a jealousy kind of weird, just a weird - weird.
To be honest, "Ted" was great, but I certainly did not have an orgasm. "Diane" decided she wanted penetration, and she had a great time. She is the most orgasmic woman I have ever witnessed in real life, on TV or heard about. I'm not exaggerating when I say, I lost count somewhere around 20. That may have been part of my problem, I was definitely distracted by her apparent orgasmic ability. I thought I was multi-orgasmic at 3 - but she added new definition to the meaning for me.
They were a great couple and my husband and I had amazing sex after they left. Then I finall got a good orgasm. On the plus side, it was exhilirating to be with someone else, knowing that it was nothing more than sex and that it was ok. It was definitely something to try again. Tell us about your first swing experience?

Should we swing?

About a year after my husband first brought up the swinging couple from work, we went on vacation to a couples only resort. A couple times during that year I asked some questions about swinging .............the truth was I was really curious about the dynamics of how swinging really worked. Couples only resorts are a lot of fun. If you swing and if you don't. If you don't - the swinger couples totally respect it when you say no. I was totally comfortable in this environment because we had been there before. By nature I am a people watcher, so I had really been studying how the couples interacted. Some part of me wanted to experience what it was like. The other part of me was totally terrified. I definitely hadn't mentioned it to my husband yet. I didn't want to let him down when I changed my mind. There was a couple who we had been hanging out with a lot at the pool and at dinner. "Ted" was totally my type and very flirtatious. In my fantasies - I was already going there. Two nights before we were to leave, I told my husband that "if" we were ever to try swinging "Ted" and his wife would be a good couple to break the ice with. Well - that was all it took. My husband was not going to let this opportunity pass. The next to last night of our vacation - we took the plunge. On my next entry - I give you the details on what the first time was really like. How about you? How did you arrive at the decision to finally swing? OR if your just thinking about it - post your questions and we will try to get them answsered.

The seed of an idea was planted?

I stated in the first entry on this site that I was fully aware of my husbands background when we got married. What he did in previous relationships was fine, but we were different. I could never do that. I'm an open-minded person, but swinging? Come on. I'm open minded enough to go to a clothing optional beach and walk around naked. I'm open minded enough to vacation at a couples only resort. But swinging? I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. Why would I want to have sex with someone else? My husband and I are in love! So when he gingerly approached the subject about 2 years into our marriage - he went very carefully down that road. So carefully in fact that from the initial mention of swinging to our first experience - it was about a year. He brought up the idea by mentioning that a friend from work had said he and his wife had been swinging about six months and they were having a blast. My response .......... "good for them." Like I said - I didn't make it easy. Apparently the seed of the idea had been planted. I thought a lot about it and I'm not sure at what point my mind finally wrapped itself around the idea, but it eventually did - there will be more on that later...................... The question to be answered here is how long did it take you to go from "idea" to actually swinging?